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I need Good friends, mobile, good marks; I work hard to get them and I put in my efforts, but I do not succeed. So what should I do?

You have created obstacles; that is why you don't get all of these. In your previous life, you must have insulted and forsaken some good friends; that is why you don't have good friends now. In your previous life, you must have called somebody 'idiot', somebody 'stupid'. So in this life your own intellect gets affected and you can't remember what you study and despite your efforts do not get good marks. In your previous birth, you must have interfered and stopped somebody from receiving some items of his choice. Now, even though you want a mobile, you are unable to get it due to the 'obstacles' you have caused.

To stop these hurdles and to break these obstacles (antray), you have to do 'Pratikraman', thereby washing away the obstacles you had created for others. You make amendments for all these mistakes. Be noble towards all, help them, don't give sufferings to anybody. If someone is giving something to another person some item of his choice, do not stop him from doing so. When someone receives something, we should feel happy about it and not cause any hurdles.

Always speak positively about all and never speak negatively; then you will be able to break all your obstacles. One can break 'antray' with strong determination and by remaining in proximity to the Gnani.

What should be the inherent qualities of an ideal student?

First and foremost, an ideal student should have sincerity. Sincerity will help him hold on to the goal of gaining knowledge and also give him the power to refrain from falling into the trap of bad company.

Next, to attain the goal he should prepare a schedule so that he can allot sufficient time to each subject and thereby do justice to his overall development. Also one should be humble, simple and straightforward besides having an attitude of helping other students in their studies. Knowledge always excels in the lap of humility. One cannot attain knowledge without being humble because grace and blessings of one's parents and guru are of utmost importance for one's progress. A student who does not respect his teacher or sees his negatives can never make substantial progress because finding faults in the person who is instrumental in one's progress will hamper his development. He should sincerely follow the teacher's instructions and should not act according to his own whims and intellect as by doing so he would become 'swachandi' which shall result in his own downfall.

A Good student should always have faith in his teacher and conviction for his goal. His faith itself shall help him progress. Knowledge increases when shared so by helping others, one's own knowledge intensifies. If a good student strives to maintain celibacy, his grasping power intensifies whereas immoral behavior weakens his grasping power. A good student should be straight forward and free from greed and covetousness.

If a good student possesses the above mentioned virtues, he can make remarkable progress.

Many a times I am unable to do things that I like to do, out of fear of what people might say. What should I do to overcome the fear?

You should not have any such fear. Who should you be afraid of and why, when you don't want to hurt anybody? Besides, when you don't want to do anything neither wrong nor wish to steal, then why should you be afraid of people? Dada says, 'The only fear one should have, is the fear of doing wrong deeds or hurting others'. You should avoid doing that to others which you would not like to be done to you. For example, if you do not like getting scolded, then you too should not get angry with others. If you don't like anybody stealing your money, then you too should avoid stealing.

Some people might approve of what you have to say or suggest, while others may not. If someone tells you 'you are incompetent' and you tend to withdraw from that activity, then when will you make progress? Instead you should listen to that person's view and put across your own view so as to convince that person of the righteousness of your activity and why you are doing it. Besides, has anyone ever become perfect?

You can always progress if you know your own strengths and weaknesses and plan accordingly. But if you remain fearful, then you will simply falter. If you are unable to fulfill a task successfully, then too do not feel defeated. Giving up will not help you accomplish anything. You may face failure but you must not be afraid of it.

How can we tell the difference between necessity and desire?

One cannot understand the difference between necessity and desire by mere words. What you need to do is simply ask for permission from your well wishers like your parents, siblings, friends and teachers for whatever that you need or would like to do. And if they permit, you can proceed. In case they raise any objection then you should understand that what you need is merely a desire and should forget it. It’s always advisable to convince them instead of forcing your views on them. If you win their confidence, it shall help fulfill all your appropriate needs, those around you won’t feel hurt and at the same time you will earn their love and respect.  

Besides earning the blessings of your parents, this attitude and virtue of taking adjustments shall be rewarded in due course. 

What should I do to avoid feeling sleepy while studying?

First of all we should try to find out the reasons for feeling sleepy. Is it due to overeating or due to exhaustion from playing or is it due to of lack of interest in studies? Now, if you were asked to watch a movie, then would you feel sleepy? If some of your friends were to come over to play, then would you feel so? You wouldn't, right? This implies that you feel sleepy because of your lack of interest in studying. Even in case of movies and games, you would feel sleepy if they aren't of your interest. So, please try to analyze and identify the root cause and try to correct it. Results will follow automatically. Another simple solution to overcome sleepiness would be to get up from your study table and have a glass of water that shall help you feel fresh & re-energize yourself.

There is a group of friends in the college who are into bad habits. They feel offended when I try to keep distance from them. Gradually they soften up and neglect me. They might have been hurt by my behavior, though my intention was never to hurt them. Do I need to repent (do pratikaman) for that?

We should repent for that and remain strong. Their idea is such that they would want to form a group and make you feel as if you are not a part of it. Yet we should remain firm and not get influenced by them and at the same time do ‘pratikaman’. The moment we leave from there they won’t have any issues. We need to do ‘pratikraman’ if we have hurt them and are unable to overcome those thoughts even on reaching home. Do you understand? They might spread rumors about us for a while but they will forget about it once they reach home.

We should never proclaim or boast that we are followers of ‘Dada Bhagwan’ and we believe in certain set of principles. In case they start teasing you about it, then tell them that there are a certain set of rules that are laid down by your parents and you would be in trouble if somebody sees you going to a movie or a party. If they are smoking and ask you to join them then you should boldly state that you are not allowed to smoke and have been very strictly told to refrain from it. Yet if they persist then tell them that once you were caught smoking and even at this age got a good thrashing from your father. Then they shall stop bothering you about it. If you maintain your sincerity they too shall learn from you. You should strongly tell them. Rest all is fine but there are certain matters where you need to draw a line as it has created problems at home in the past. Your parents have sent you to study and even after years if they were to know that you have fallen into bad habits then it will be very painful for them. Once you fall into bad company then you are doomed forever. So it’s better to keep away from bad company. You can tell them that you are an all-rounder and in case they need your help then you are always available but ever try to coax you into such bad habits. Whenever you happen to be in a new place never tend to make friends from day one, instead observe those around you and then take a call whether that person is  ultured and civilized and worthy to be a friend.

I am utterly confused about my future. Presently, I am working as a computer teacher in a private institute. I am already 25 and am still not able to contribute anything worthwhile to my family. I find it difficult to practice Dadashri’s ‘Gnan’ amidst such tension. Please help me!

If you are sincere in your work, it will definitely yield positive results, at some point of time. There is no need to worry about not being able to contribute to your family. If you refer to the lives of successful personalities you will find they too had to toil hard initially and found success only after the age of 40 or so. Of course you may find a few cases wherein they might have succeeded early in life but those are mere exceptions. So it is better we sincerely continue working and stop thinking about the future as that won’t lead us anywhere. Apply your best efforts and be sincere to your job then you are bound to get dividends. Not getting satisfactory returns, can be due to the results of past ‘karmas’. What should one do to break free from these past ‘karmas’? One should perform ‘vidhi’, ‘aarti’ and chant ‘Aseem Jai jaikar’ besides attending satsang on regular basis for peace of mind. Applying Dadashri’s ‘Gnan’ is akin to addressing one’s own soul. Doing all this shall have a positive impact, which in turn shall help generate peace. This shall limit the ill effects of intellect and ego, further reducing the effect of past ‘obstacles’ (antray). Lesser the obstacles better the circumstances shall be. Dadashri has said, Goddess Laxmi avoids the places where there are clashes and conflicts and if our mind is full of conflicts then Laxmiji shall refrain from coming to us. So instead of getting restless it’s better to accept whatever we get .If we are at peace, things will change and better opportunities will crop up.

Should we let the bad habits to gradually wither away or do we have to make efforts to stop it?

We must always make positive efforts to nip them in the bud itself or else over a period of time it shall encompass our whole being. Dadashri advises that we must try our best to prevent the glass, which might have slipped from our hands, from hitting the floor. Even after our best efforts if the glass hits the floor and breaks then only we can proclaim it to be 'vyavasthit' - not before that. 'Gnan' is not to be misused in any way. Just don't take solace believing it was 'karmic' account that has got settled. Wherever you feel that these bad habits are creating obstacles in your spiritual progress then those need to be dealt with firmly whereas if things are progressing smoothly on the path of 'Gnan' then there is no need to stop that, in that case one should remain in 'Gnan'. Call it fate or scientific circumstantial evidence only after having given it your best shot.

Sometimes I think negative of a person. So I do pratikraman, but even then it continue to see negative. What should I do?

When it happens  again, introspect! Why is it that we remain negatively biased? We are not negative when someone is all praise for us. So try to find out, has anything happened that is not as per our liking? In fact, things happen according to our karmic account. In case of ‘punya (merit) karmas’, all happens as per our liking whereas in case of ‘paap (demerit) karmas’ , all happens against our liking. In that case, what’s the point of feeling negative for the persons who are basically just a part of the whole situation as one of the evidence only(nimit)? Our negative approach will only bind new ‘paap karmas’ because the other person is actually a Shuddhatma. Moreover, if we retrospect any event, we will realize why we are not given due credit in certain matters! It is because we don’t have sufficient credit of ‘punya’.  In spiritual terminology,  ‘yash-naam-karma’ means one gets credit for work completed, irrespective of whether he has actually done anything significant or not.

Despite all your best efforts, when you don’t get the praise, understand that you lack in merit karmas. So the best way to move out of this situation is to understand that things happen as per our karmic account and not as per our free will.

See ‘Pure Soul’ in all beings and don’t feel negative for them. In case any bad thoughts arise, do pratikaman instantly. That will help erase your negativity. Let’s adopt the policy of “Live and let live”. We should not expect others to follow our way of thinking. Give freedom to everybody. That’s the best way to attain peace.

My mother passed away few months back, I miss her too much. I just go on thinking about the time I spent with her. It’s very painful to accept that she is not around to speak to me anymore. How do I come out of this situation?

Just focus your thoughts on how much happiness mother had caused throughout her life. She cared for our comfort and now it’s time for us to think for her well being. So the best idea is to pray to her inner soul (Shudhatma). Pray that she gets the blessings of Lord Simandhar Swami and attains salvation – the ultimate peace. It will be selfish on our part just to think of our happiness. True love is to think about mother’s happiness. That will be a real tribute. At the same time, do pratikraman for all the past deeds and free her from binding any successive karmas.
We know there is no death as such. Just as we change cloths doesn’t mean that the earlier person have ceased to exist. She has left body only, but the Pure Soul is still there, though in another form. So every time you remember mother, pray to her inner soul to attain freedom from bondage of relationship. From your side also you must withdraw your attachment and wish that she receives the blessings of the Lord and gets free from the cycle of life and death.

Why do I always do something that I don’t want to do? I feel sad when my friends get good jobs. I am full of negative feelings for them and cannot concentrate on my future plans. What should I do?

At first, start attending Satsangs. Carry on trying with positive attitude. Life has to go on. Such things will always crop up. There is no need to get nervous. If we maintain positivity and keep on trying we will definitely get better chances in future. On the contrary, we may drive out positive factors if we get lost in negativity. We can at best apply positive efforts. Result is not in our hand. It’s a result of Scientific Circumstantial Evidence. So whenever negative thought appears, chant Dada’s ‘Asim Jai Jaikar’ for few minutes and ask for strength. You can study life incidents of great personalities to know how much they struggled in their life to achieve success.
Recently, a case study on the life of Nelson Mandela, famous personality from South Africa, revealed lots of sufferings he went through, but still, he remained resilient and faced it bravely. We get charged up and inspired knowing such facts. In fact, there is no difficulty as such. The suffering arises because of comparison with others. If you want to compare, then do it with those who are less fortunate than us and not with those who have good jobs. Look at the people who are struggling day and night just in order to survive and fulfill their necessities. You will realize we are in fact better placed. So maintain positivity and forget comparison.

I can’t perform Charan Vidhi regularly. What should I do? I am studying in class XII in Science and that’s why I don’t get much spare time.

Actually it will take only 15 minutes to recite whole Charan Vidhi. But you will gain lots of inner strength. You may think that you have lost 15 minutes. In fact you will gain 2 hours worth of study time and that is a big difference. If you perform this you will really benefit. In fact we waste a lot of time here and there in useless activities every day. We waste time playing and then think we don’t have time. Secondly, we have not understood the importance of Charan Vidhi. If that were known, you would recite.  You spend three hours waiting to get ‘tips’ from your sir because that may prove beneficial. Likewise, these are ‘tips’ for the inner progress, that you may not be able to figure out now. But it works ‘inside’ and yields positive results. So rather than worrying over 15 minutes time loss, just start the Charan Vidhi process and you will complete it in no time!

My mind gets confused when it has to decide over an issue! Please give suitable directions!

Let the mind create problem while taking a decision. It might show possibility of a negative result. Even then go ahead. We should seek the advice of an elder brother or parents if necessary. Don’t remain inactive and sit upon a problem. We must take action and face the problem if need be. Otherwise we won’t get over this Nature ever. As we go out from here and we don’t know the way, we may ask for direction to a few people. Couple of them might misguide us, it is ok. Someone will definitely show the correct way. Thus, Nature will bring us to the correct path, through trial and error. But if we don’t move out at all with the fear of facing problems, our journey will never begin. Let the problem come. These cricketers go to play and may lose. Even the best batsman gets out for a duck (0). But he learns and from it and may win next time. Such things happen in life. We may falter to recover time and again. Just play it blind and you will find another link to follow!

Everyone tells me that I talk less. I don’t like to talk too much, due to which I am unable to adjust in my family. What should I do?

The problem is not on your talking less, but is due to you not being able to adjust with your family members. You should read Pujya Dadashri’s book titled ‘Adjust Everywhere’ without fail. And ask for strength from the God within you by saying, ‘O God (Dada Bhagwan), give me the strength to adjust with every member of my family’. You should repeat this 5 to 25 times daily. This shall help give the desired results.

Whenever our new social science teacher takes class, I am unable to concentrate and my ‘chit’ wanders off and I also find it quite boring. What should I do?

This has got nothing to do with the teacher. The feeling of boredom arises as we are unable to concentrate and our ‘chit’ tends to wander. So, find out where the ‘chit’ is wandering off to, ask for strength from ‘Dada Bhagwan’ so to keep the ‘chit’ focused in studies. Pray to the ‘pure soul’ within the teacher and ask for strength to enable you to properly grasp the knowledge of social science that is explained. Also never see any negatives in the teacher who imparts knowledge to us. To help the ‘chit’ focus better, chant ‘Dada Bhagwan Na Aseem Jai Jaikar Ho’ in your free time. This shall surely help in getting desired results and you won’t feel bored.

Nobody can go to heaven, hell or attain complete Liberation (Moksha) with a physical body. But we have heard (in school) that the great Yudhistir went to heaven with his physical body. In that case could it be that he may have charged his ‘karmas’ by remaining totally in awareness of his Soul? Or he would have charged only merit ‘karmas’? Or could it be that he may not have done any such thing that would have hurt anybody?

One does not have a human body in both heaven and hell but a body called ‘Vaikriya’ body (formless). Only in the state of complete liberation (Moksha) is the Soul free from having a body. In all other forms the soul is always bound by a body. Every life form binds ‘karma’. On binding merit ‘karma’, one gets a higher life form and by binding demerit ‘karma’, one gets a lower life form. In short, one is born according to what is reflected in ones’ balance sheet – account of credit & debit. One can even be born in the form of an animal. Yudhisthir attained self realization (Atma gnan) from Tirthankar Lord Neminath Bhagwan, cleared all his pending karmas and went to Moksha in that life itself.

I quarrel a lot with my mother. I feel bad whenever she scolds me. I even happen to retort. Things are just fine whenever I attend Satsang but then it goes back to the same old routine?

Our mother is the one who is closest to us and we love her from deep within our heart and she too loves us immensely. Then when expectations arise out of this love, like she should do this and she should not do that, it leads to feeling of hatred. At such times we should ponder for a while and think how would I have reacted if I had been in her place? Next how highly we are indebted to her due to her obligations? After all she has always obliged us. Thinking on these lines shall not only prevent us from retorting but shall help us value her contribution towards our growth and develop a feeling of appreciation for her.

Whenever I am asked to do some household chores by my mother and if I happen to make some error even in one of them then she scolds me even for those tasks which I have completed satisfactorily. Then I get irritated feeling I have to bear the brunt whether I fulfill the tasks or not?

You should try to see and understand her emotions behind that action - that why is she not allowing even one mistake? A mother always has a desire that her child should be one up than her in all the aspects. Due to this intent she deals in such a manner. We should thus decide to become totally error free while keeping in mind, what is her view point? What is her underlying intention? This shall help us focus on her viewpoint and not on the words spoken by her.

: My mother takes real good care of me and I feel highly indebted to her. But whenever she tells me things and argues over trivial matters then I get really irritated. At such times I tell her that your bickering really upsets me and all what you have done for me holds no value for me and everything boils down to zero. I just cannot listen to it, what should I do?

Firstly, try to place yourself in your mom’s position and check it out for yourself how would you feel? Secondly, try to understand the true motive in what she is saying. Try to understand her viewpoint that why does she need to speak so much? Next try and find our mistake so that it is not repeated and she does not have to tell us about it. The feeling that she keeps on bickering can be overcome when we shall try to understand the underlying intent of her talks. Then instead of finding it useless it shall help find our follies. This shall also help us develop a lot of positive strength which can prove beneficial in the future. To feel irritated thinking that she keeps on bickering all the time and to talk back is a big weakness. Whatever a mother does for her child is something which can never ever be repaid by anyone in this world. Make sincere efforts to understand what’s in her heart, what are her feelings for us.

As I avoid participation in college functions like dancing, singing and movie songs my friends tell me that I am a boring person. What kind of awareness should I keep during such circumstances?

Every individual has right to decide the principles on which to lead ones’ own life. Only we are the ones who have the freedom to decide whether to break those fundamental principles or not. Whatever anyone might say we should remain firm in our decision. One should very clearly communicate to those friends that such things are not of my interest and change the topic or else should find friends who have a similar mind set. But at no point should one ever mend those principles.

My ‘chit’ tends to wander off while I am studying. It’s been 3 years since I got A.T.K.T in S.Y. B.B.A. and yet am not able to clear it. What should I do?

You might know where the ‘chit’ tends to wander off, at this age where can it wander off? You must be well aware of that. First and foremost to stabilize the ‘chit’ you should chant ‘Dada Bhagwan Na Aseem Jay – Jaykaar Ho’ for 10 minutes prior to studying. Then you should replace the person who is in your ‘chit’ with the image to the God in whom you have faith. Else, decide firmly that I want to complete my studies and have a decent career by keeping Niruma or Dada in your ‘chit’. Reaffirm this decision by repeating it daily for 5 minutes in presence of God. Then the scientific circumstances shall surely help favor you in studies and you shall definitely get better results.

Whenever I quarrel, I think of Dada, but am not able to practice the 5 commandments (aagyas). What should I do to remain aware of ‘gnan’?

From now on decide that you want to practice the 5 commandments (aagyas). By just saying or even thinking that “I am unable to” do so create obstacles on the path of attaining awareness. So daily ask for the strength by repeating 5 to 10 times, “O Dada Bhagwan! Please give me the awareness so that I can follow and practice the 5 commandments.” Then the scientific circumstances will work accordingly.

am more sincere in ‘bhakti’ than I am in ‘gnan’. What to do?

At this point of time, studies and career hold more importance for us, so be sincere in that and later think about ‘bhakti’ and ‘gnan’; or else you will lose both. So think and plan accordingly.

My parents don’t approve of me attending satsang. I even have to read Dada’s books in secrecy. What should I do?

Your priority should be to try and convince your parents. To do anything without their consent will have very adverse effect. Every parent has only one desire and that is their child is brought up in an environment where he gets the best chance to inculcate the right kind of values. We might be at fault somewhere which is preventing them, to allow us to attend Satsang. So try to find out that mistake and study its cause to drive out any misunderstanding.

I have ill feelings for our tuition teacher. He is biased by giving Good Projects to another girl and I feel that this attitude of his is not right. I try very hard to forget it yet I am unable do so thoroughly. Please answer this query of mine.

The problem here is not with the teacher but is rooted in our feelings of jealousy. You should speak positively for the girl who has been selected in the project and see her positives. And then we should also pray for her thinking, as she has performed really well she has been selected. By doing so that talent shall blossom within us and in future we too shall be selected. But by being jealous we tend to become weak minded and lose our inherent strength. So henceforth always think positive for both the teacher and that girl. 

If someone asks me to do some chores while I am busy doing my homework I immediately refuse them and later regret having done so, feeling I should have helped in fulfilling the task. In that case what should I do?

From today onwards decide that you shall always say ‘yes’ whenever anyone asks you to do some chore. In case if you feel that fulfilling the task shall take a long time then you should take their permission by asking them that would it be convenient if you were to fulfill the task after completing the homework? By doing so the person shall feel pleased with our attitude. And this feeling shall in turn help us in our studies as we shall be able to remember everything very easily. So always attend to the needs of elders. After all our happiness lies keeping our elders happy. 

I am interested in learning all the subjects, but whenever I sit to study science I feel lazy. To overcome it I also chant ‘Dada Bhagwan Na Aseem Jay – Jaykaar Ho’ but to no avail. What should I do?

We tend to feel lazy only if we are not interested in that topic. Otherwise wherever we are keen enough do we ever feel lazy, for example while eating or sleeping do you ever feel lazy? As you are not truly interested in learning science you get that feeling of laziness. Henceforth whenever you start studying science you should say I like studying science very much. It’s a very interesting subject. Prior to studying science you should repeat at least 5 to 10 times that I enjoy studying it and then only should you sit to study it, you shall really enjoy learning it. Try out this method.