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- How to gain self confidence
Questioner: I tend to lose my cool very often and get angry on people. What should I do to correct this?
Pujyashri: Try to find the root cause as to what makes you angry. Just as that gentleman mentioned that he gets angry when he is cornered. Likewise, you too try to find the reason behind losing your cool. As soon as you resolve those causes, you won't lose your temper. Do you get angry or it happens?
Questioner: It happens.
Pujyashri: Ok...so it happens. Now let's try to find the reasons working behind it. Do you get angry if somebody does not allow you to play?
Pujyashri: Do you also get angry when although you have studied for hours, you are asked to study for some more time?
Pujyashri: Also, if you are hungry and you aren't allowed to eat and are asked to wait for some time. Then too you might lose your cool, right?
Questioner: I end up quarrelling with my family and friends even when I don't intend to.
Pujyashri: It happens. When somebody says something about us, our ego gets affected and that makes us feel angry.
Questioner: But I don't even feel guilty, nor do I repent over my actions.
Pujyashri: You don't repent, but do you think, it is worthwhile to get angry ?
Pujyashri: Suppose some food is spilled over the floor, what would you do? Play in that puddle or wipe it out?
Questioner: wipe it out.
Pujyashri: What would you do? Wouldn't you clean up the mess? What do we do if we spill some tea or 'dal' on our clothes? Is it right to move around in that dirty state? Likewise, anger is just like dirt. It needs to be cleaned. Do you get the point? So we should repent over it. Do we like it if we are scolded? If somebody gets angry on you and says what a fool you are! You don't even know how to hold the mike, then wouldn't you get angry on that person? Would you like being treated in such a manner? Similarly would that person like it when you tend to get angry? Wouldn't he feel bad about it? So we need to firmly decide that we don't want to hurt anybody. Even so, if it happens, ask for forgiveness. You should repent saying, “Dadabhagwan I don't want to hurt anybody”. By repenting, anger will start decreasing and gradually it will diminish completely. Should anger be decreased or increased? What is better of the two?
Questioner: It should decrease.
Pujyashri: By repentance, it gets decreased. Understood?