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- How to gain self confidence
Questioner: Why Laxmi (Goddess of Wealth) and Sarasvati (Goddess of Knowledge & Speech) are not found to coexist in an individual?
Pujyashri: Really speaking, it is not so. There is no rule as such that both can’t exist together. If one has a good voice and sings well, he tends to become egoistic. When approached for a small favor in a function, he often refuses. He may look upon you as if you are inferior to him. That’s how he will obstruct ‘Laxmi’ and chances of getting money in future. When one avoids an opportunity, the Goddess of Wealth stays aloof. You will find that simple and easy going people have both, knowledge and wealth.
Questioner: People have lots of money nowadays. But even then, there is no peace in their life. Why is it so?
Pujyashri: That is because money nowadays is not hard earned money but manipulated wealth. That’s why it does not bring peace. If the money is accumulated through fraudulent and unfair means, it will cause pain and rob you of your peace of mind. Whereas, it will
Questioner: I am not able to save money! What do I do?
Pujyashri: Do you earn money?
Questioner: Not yet. I am still studying in college!
Pujyashri: Then how do you get money?
Questioner: Mom gives me, not dad.
Pujyashri: So, dad knows that you are wasting money. Does mom give it willingly or you manage to convince her somehow?
Questioner: No. She gives willingly. Pujyashri, it so happens that when I’m with friends, I end up paying most of the time in the canteen.
Pujyashri: Well. Tell your friends that you will pay for tea and snacks today. But then they will have to pay for the rest of the week. Will they agree?
Pujyashri: Why is it so? Why don’t you’ll start going ‘dutch’. Everyone will have to pay for himself. You will find most of your friends will vanish. There are people who make friendship only for gains.
Questioner: It is not so. They are friends. They are not only after food!
Pujyashri: How can you be so sure? Try to find out. How many friends do you have?
Questioner: 7 to 8.
Pujyashri: Fine. Just don’t pay for 8 days. Say that you will pay on the ninth day only. You will find how many of them stay back. It is wiser to spend for mahatmas who are a better company and the discussions will be about satsangs & personal development. In case of college friends, there are needless talks on cinemas and girl friends and the money spent will be a waste.
Questioner: We do talk about education also.
Pujyashri: But that should be on a regular basis. Otherwise, it will affect our education and spoil our life.
Questioner: Expenses are more on Sundays!
Pujyashri: Then try this method. Spend only on the 8th Sunday. Wait for your turn. Let others spend first. This way you will save money as well as identify who are your true friends. Bad company will fall by itself. Try to save something from your pocket money & return it to your mom. Tell her you will demand only when needed. You may even draw a lesser amount than what she gives. This self constraint will help you to save your father’s money. It would have been a different matter had you been earning. But father must be working and toiling hard to earn money to pay for your education and upbringing. How much load would you like to put on him?
Questioner: I have developed this habit of spending from childhood!
Pujyashri: No. you must be alert now. Do you know your weakness? Your friends praise you, “Look, Ganesh is hearty and broad minded. He always spends unselfishly and takes care of his friends”. This ‘buttering’ boosts your ego and you fall into their trap. Aren’t your friends doing so?
Questioner: May be somewhat. Not everyone.
Pujyashri: It’s all the same. They boost your ego with praise and you end up spending. This act may lower the ‘greed’ element in you but will enhance ‘pride’. What’s the gain? There has to be some normality. How much do you spend in a month? Rs.1000/- or so?
Questioner: More. About Rs. 1500 plus.
Pujyashri: Well that comes to Rs. 9,ooo in 6 months and Rs. 18,000 in a year. That amount of money can cover someone’s education for the whole year, whereas we spend it in hotels and fun where it all ends up as waste. In future we will always be short of money. Do you know the golden rule? What we spend today is the result of our punya-karma. You are encashing your punya. So be careful and economical. Spend only when necessary so that you have sufficient balance in times of dire need. So, next time, when you go to a hotel and suppose the bill is of Rs.100/-, you pay only Rs.20/-, being your proportionate share. Don’t be liberal, otherwise you may end up with negative feelings that ‘Everytime, I end up paying for all’ and that will spoil your friendship. Do you understand?