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- How to gain self confidence
Questioner: When a situation prompts you to show off boastfully, instead, you become polite, this is nobility. When politeness becomes extraordinary, then nobility also becomes extraordinary. Please explain this concept.
Pujyashri: Now look at this tree; when it starts bearing fruit does it bow down, or remain standing erect? As soon as mango tree starts to bear fruit, the mango tree starts to bend due to the weight of the fruit on its branches. Similarly, when good qualities manifest in great men such as a President, or a Prime Minister, they become humble like a child. It is the law of Nature that the more humble you become, the greater are your achievements. .
If obstinacy increases then… have you seen the porter (coolie) at the railway station? If you bargain to pay Rs. 20 instead of Rs. 25 which he asks to carry your luggage, he will throw your luggage back at you for not paying the amount you had promised him. That is how he will show his obstinacy.
Great people do not display their ego by chasing after respect, rights, or authority. They remain in the background as if they are the smallest or most insignificant! Doesn’t gold melt to whatever shape you want? What about cast iron? It breaks before you can bend it because it is hollow. You can bend gold as much as you like, stretch it, pull it, yet it does not crack. Similarly, as more politeness sets into a man’s actions, he will not breakdown. You may insult him or harm him, he will not collapse nor become stubborn. That is nobility. This is a very high form of civility.
Questioner: So, can we do something to adopt this virtue of becoming humble?
Pujyashri: Yes, there is an easy way. When someone becomes obstinate, we should ask ourselves if we have made that same mistake. We may get irritated and ask as to what sort of fellow he is.
Don’t find faults. If you don’t like what he does, then, check whether you make the same mistakes! Sometimes, we may make the same errors. So, if we check if we do or do not make that same mistake; that ‘disease’ (mistake) will leave us.
A person may be easy going, polite, does not belittle anybody and remains ‘small’ or humble with everyone, when we feel he has such good qualities and if we appreciate them, these qualities will also manifest in us.
Don’t people take care of little children or the elderly? If a child happens to be lost, someone will offer the child biscuits, others may give him some milk and pacify him and then finally, take him back to his parents.
Dada says that even a snake has to become straight to enter its hole in the ground, so if you want salvation (Moksh) you will have to become humble. Such a person will have an easy going nature, will be naturally polite, will be satisfied, and have humility. All of these will lead him to the ‘right vision’ for achieving moksh. But anger, pride, deceit and greed lead to delusion. Spontaneous forgiveness means naturally humble, considering oneself to be the ‘smallest’ is the sign of going towards moksh.