Reasons and Solutions for Anger

When one ponders deep enough he is sure to be surprised by the intricacies of the human brain, the sophistication it has to back itself up, convincing us with its seemingly flawless line of reasoning.

But aware we should be that we are not the brain but a consciousness higher that it and thus we possess the ability to analyze our thoughts, a feeling one might recall as watching himself think.

While analyzing the wrongness of anger and building a clear understanding of its causes and consequences, it is sure to empower us with skills that will help us socialize with our closest ones to a degree previously unexplored.

Some reasons or excuses of anger you might come upon are

If what I want doesn’t happen

Do you get Angry when things don’t go your way like Dikshit ? Let us see what happened to him

Once Shubham, Prashit and Dikshit went to Prashit's favourite Pizza outlet in his car. Upon reaching there, they discovered that the shop was closed. "Oh shit man! Why on earth does this have to happen to us?" said Prashit. All of them were depressed.

Suddenly, it occured to Shubham "Hey guys! Why don't we check out the nearby Punjabi restaurant?! It serves delicious food!" Prashit liked the idea but not Dikshit. He wanted to go to another branch of the Pizza shop some 25 Kms away. But, the the other two friends didn’t agree to it. Dikshit said in an irritated tone, "Today, I will only eat Pizza! Don't be such cheaptards guys! I will fill the petrol for you." Prashit tried to explain him, "Dude, it’s not due to fuel. Actually, we are very hungry and it will take very long to go the Pizza shop. It will get very late. Don't you get it?!"

Dikshit spoke in anger, "Okay! Then you two can go ahead and have Punjabi food but I am not going anywhere! I'll go home and eat!" Prashit and Shubham tried a lot to convince him but he would not budge. He was very angry, especially on Prashit and thought "He's trying to show off just because he has a car, but what a miser he is, making excuses to save petrol! I will never ever go out with him!" Even at home, Dikshit didn’t eat anything and slept on an empty stomach.

Question In our house and friend circle, everyone has different opinions. Why do we feel angry if they don’t perform as per our wish? What should we do in such a case?

Let us see solution from Gnani for this Question in below Short Video Clips

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When I am insulted

Nikhil had a habit of feeding his society’s dogs everyday. Several dogs would gather around his house in the morning and create disturbance. Hiteshbhai Sharma’s family had come to stay in front of his house only a few days ago. They did not like this habit of Nikhil because the dogs used to move around their place the whole day and create commotion.

Once when Nikhil was giving biscuits to the dogs, Hiteshbhai happened to be in his balcony. He shouted “Hey kid! You dare not gather and feed these dogs from now on. I am fed up of their barking. I‘ll come down and hit you if I see you doing this again!” Upon being insulted in front of so many, Nikhil’s pride was hurt. He was furious and spoke, “Is this your way of talking?! What the hell do you think of yourself? You could have said in a proper way instead. But you addressed me in front of so many with such cheap and derogatory language. Now come what may, I am never going to stop feeding these dogs!”

Nikhil’s parents came rushing and immediately apologized to Hiteshbhai for Nikhil’s misconduct. “Is this your way of talking to the elders?” mummy said. But due to such a grave insult, Nikhil’s anger was at its helm. As a result, he forgot showing humility to his elders and made this a big issue.

“No one in this world has a right to tell you anything, unless you are at fault.” - Dadashri

Question If I don’t respond to someone who insults me, isn’t that called a weakness?

  • Anger Solution for Teasing and Insult”

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Jyare mari same koi badaai kare tyare

It was a Sunday evening, Stutiben was sitting with friends in her lawn. They were all discussing about how each other’s’ Diwali had been, where all did they visit etc. when suddenly they saw Mrs. Gupta walking towards them.

Upon seeing her coming towards them, Stutiben became upset, she said to everyone, “There comes the boasting queen…bla bla bla”. Mrs. Gupta joined their group by then and started chatting. “Hello everyone, how’s everything going? It has been very long since we have met. Actually, I had gone to tour UAE for the last 15 days. I must say that Dubai’s Burj Khalifa and Abu Dhabi’s Ferrari World were a visual treat and overall it was a thrilling experience! And by the way, I have got latest designed diamond earrings worth Rs. 60,000 from the “Mall of the Emirates”!

Upon hearing all this, Stutiben lost it, she said peevishly, “Stop lying Mrs. Gupta! I had seen similar earrings at “Samira imitation Jewellery shop” last year. It was an awkward moment for everyone. They started laughing at Stutiben.

Question - I loose Temper when someone Boasts in front of me

Dadashri - Make a note of all those on whom you get angry. Just note down where all you get angry. Also note down where anger doesn’t occur, know that as well. There are several people on whom we never get angry, even if they wrong us and then there are those who have to face our anger even if they have done nothing wrong! Shouldn’t there be a reason for this?

Questioner -We have brought a mental tuber (ganth) for such people.

Dadashri -Yes, it’s due to a tuber. But what should we do now? We should not let our mind spoil for the one on whom we feel angry. Just keep repairing the mind and when it is cleansed (for the other person), anger will also cease. We should immediately accept that “His is right and mine is wrong”.

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If someone interferes in taking important decisions of my life

I am currently studying in 12th commerce. After finishing 12th, I want to do a 5 year integrated course from India’s best Law University NLSIU- Bangalore and became a lawyer. But my parents are insisting me to stay here in Ahmedabad and do a B.Com. + C.A. I have always aspired to be a successful lawyer and I really feel angry when my parents interfere in the matters of my career.

Due to this anger, I even told to the extent that if they don’t allow me to do a course of my choice, then I will not study further! This attitude is affecting my studies as well. How should I solve this problem with my parents?

Questioner - Are parents always right?

Aptputra - Parents may not be right always, but their intentions are never wrong. They always want what’s good for you. It is difficult to find people who really care for you. Hence, always believe them to be right.

Questioner - Sometimes, if the parents are wrong, won’t it harm the children?

Aptputra - What sort of harm can it cause? One can’t prevail over one’s destiny. King Dashrath had not wished that his son Ramchandraji should be banished from kingdom. The question of banishing him to the forest arose. There was no way out! Even if he dislike it, if the son obeys his father, then thinks over it, he will be at peace and will feel calm within, provided he will not go astray. Where did this happiness come from? It can be said that in case of dependency it brought sufferings. Thereafter, it creates happiness within when one becomes self-controlled.

Questioner - How can one achieve happiness out of self-dependency?

Aptputra - By following what your parents tells you to do. You may feel yourself then as subordinate, but later you will feel happy for being so. You should definitely express all your ideas, all your thoughts to them, but with humility, as a family member. I have seen people who express their feelings in anger/hatred and by shouting. This will never lead to a solution.

Questioner - That means one should seek approval from one’s parents?

Aptputra - Yes, seek their approval. Even so, what is destined to happen will happen!

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If someone keeps pointing my mistakes

Nisarg and Jenil were preparing for a Social advertisement competition on the topic “Child Education” held at their University. Nisarg was working on scripting and designing whereas Jenil was doing videography and editing..

It was the day when both were working on this project at Nisarg’s place when a relative of Nisarg, Harshad uncle arrived. He said, “Boys, I have many years of experience in videography and I would be pleased to supervise your work.” Nisarg and Jenil explained everything to him with zest.

Harshad uncle just started pointing out errors, mistakes and ways to improve the project.

Jenil was enraged and thought, “Why did this uncle even arrive? All he sees is faults, faults and faults!” Nisarg was impressed with Harshad uncle and asked Jenil to take more of his help. But Jenil said, “He is unnecessarily finding faults. If you are so impressed with him, then go ahead take him in the project. I better leave!“ Nisarg was surprised. Jenil could not bear Harshad uncle finding his faults.

Questioner - I don’t like when someone keeps pointing my mistakes and I tend to get Angry

  • Anger Solution for Teasing and Insult”

“The one who destroys his mistakes is God.” - Dadashri

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When a superior person insists on his ways

Nidhi, Manya and Riya were made members of the food committee for their college’s welfare function. They started looking for caterers one month before the event. Nidhi and Riya were a bit nervous as they were doing this for the first time. Manya would not heed to any of their advice and did as she wished to.

Riya got contacts of a new caterer through her neighbor’s reference. They were offering a good menu at reasonable rates. So, Riya told about this to Nidhi and Manya. But to her surprise, Manya said she had already placed the order to the caterer she thought was good. She had kept this a secret. She further added that the menu had been decided by her beforehand and the deposit has also been given.

Nidhi couldn’t say much upon hearing all this, due to her inferiority complex but Riya was enraged. She said furiously “Don’t you consider us a part of the committee? Why didn’t you ask us?” Manya said in a peevish tone, “You girls have no experience of this, you better look into the sales of food coupons”.

Riya replied, “What do you think of yourself? Do you believe you can manage all this alone? What are we then? If you are so proud about yourself and how much you know, then fine! Do all of it by yourself”.

Saying this, she walked away.

Questioner - Question I get Angry when a person of Superior Complexity insists on his ways

Dadashri - We should not say our viewpoint first. Instead, first ask the other person. “What do you have to say in this matter?” If he insists on his views then I let go mine. The other person should not be hurt in any way, just take care of that much. Do not force your opinions on others. Instead, ask them to say theirs first. After accepting everyone’s opinions, I have become a Gnani. If I try to force my views on others then I verily will be at loss.

Questioner - If we have to interact with people, then how can we make do with such one sided adjustments?

Dadashri - You have to let your energies open up where you can’t adjust. In other places (where you can adjust), the energies have already blossomed. To not be able to adjust is a weakness. How can I live happily with everyone? To whatever extent you adjust, that much of your energies will blossom and weaknesses depart.

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We have taken only few Questions. More Reasons for Anger are here

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