We were mere kids when my parents placed us in the care of relatives. We survived 4 years of physical and sexual abuse before we were rescued by our mother. The next 10 years of our lives were spent in a northern city where we were indoctrinated into another version of American life that propagated racial discrimination. By the time I was 30 years old and had started raising my family I was totally disheartened because I still did not have an acceptable identity of self and had serious questions about inhuman treatment meted onto the masses based on ‘ism’ - racism, nationalism, sexism and classism. I tried various eastern religions, positive thinking and new age movement in order to be liberated from the negativities that were engulfing my life. I was willing to do anything that would give me and my children a sense of self, love and community that was not defined by those 'ism' brothers, or by conditions outside of the self.
The killing of my 20-year-old son by a police officer sent me again into an era of hopelessness, anger, hate and fear. After living in and out of depression for the next few years, I began meditating again and found some relief from what I felt was a useless life. I felt I would never know who or what is responsible for the inhumane and intolerable conditions of the world. I had discarded the useless identities fostered on me by society and felt that I would never know who I really am. As a daughter, wife, mother and human being, I felt I had failed in all the areas of life that I had functioned in. I decided to just try to accept my life as it was with all its failures, until death would come to claim me.
Three years ago, someone introduced me to yet another life philosophy - he said it was a scientific approach to life. He gave me a few things to read and at some point, I became very interested in it. He told me about an upcoming event where anyone could receive something that would bring them great awareness of life and lasting bliss. Although I didn’t really understand what this ‘event’ was, I began to feel very strongly that I had to be there.
Despite the obstacles that were in my way, I went. My life has not been the same since I participated in the ‘event’, now known to me as ‘Gnan Vidhi’ (Self-Realization process). Soon afterwards, a sense of calmness and peace that I had never known before, seemed to fill my days. I could not explain how, I just knew it was there and not only that, most of the negative thoughts were gone. About 3 months after receiving ‘Gnan Vidhi’, I was once again in a racially charged situation, where in the past I would have been numbed by fear or motivated by hate to hurry up and get out from there. Instead, I left peacefully as though nothing had happened. The fear did NOT appear, nor did the hate! In fact, at the height of the situation, I became aware of who I am and who they are - I was aware that we are all Pure Souls. This, for me was a turning point! Where did the fear and hate go? I realized that I was at the threshold of understanding how the world operates and who I am. It has been 3 years since I received ‘Gnan’. Feelings of hopelessness, depression, victimization, anger, fear, resentment, hatred, and so on, are no longer a part of my life. Having peace of mind, knowing who I am and that we are all connected and that there is no difference in us, gives me hope and understanding and peace that I never thought possible. The realization now is...
I am Pure Soul - You Are Pure Soul - We all are Pure Soul.