Questioner: I am unable to forget some incidents of my life. Is it because we all friends are continuously staying together?
Pujyashri: This is simple. To remove the postage stamp from the letter, you don’t have to pull out the stamp, but dilute the gum. When the gum will melt, the stamp will fall off. Instead of laboring for removing the postage stamp, you should work to dissolve the gum between the letter and the stamp.
We come across a crook because there is some fault within us. Why did a particular circumstance happen? That’s because some fault was already within me and through this ‘nimitt’ (circumstantial evidence) it was brought out!
This is science. My attachments and abhorrence constitute the ‘gum’. Again take the example of the letter and postage-stamp, it is all because of the gum. Someone will say, “Remove the stamp, pull it out.” If the stamp has not been cancelled by the post office rubber stamp, someone will find out ways to slowly pull it off from the letter by steaming it or by soaking it in water, dissolving the gum and removing it. See here, how they understand that, not to pull the stamp but dissolve the gum. Similarly, in case of settlement of your karmic accounts, for the attachments and abhorrence with persons in your life, it is not the fault of the individual but because of our own attachments and abhorrence we are attached to them. Once we are free from our attachments and abhorrence then it will get dissolved in its own time. Till then, through spiritual awareness, find out where you have attachment and where do you feel attracted.
Why did this particular person come to your mind? Why do you dislike a person? Why do you feel attachment for someone? Why do you like some person? Very minutely you have to disconnect all the wires with these people and free yourself from the bondage. You don’t have to move these people away; neither forsake them nor cling on to them. Only disconnect the ‘hook’ from within. As you have to only dissolve the ‘gum’ between the envelope and the postage stamp, in the same way, in case of people, your attachment or abhorrence (raag-dwesh) is the ‘gum’. So don’t remove the person, or try to improve the person, or expect him to change. Only dissolve your own ‘raag-dwesh’ towards him. For doing so, ‘Pratikraman’ is the best medicine!